nahele101

I finally got an appointment with the Mexican Consulate and will be able to apply for my Temporary Mexican Residency. It's not until the end of April, and it's in Las Vegas, but heh...gotta go to Vegas for two days. Hope to do a hike while I am there and eat some delicious food (vegan, of course.)
I see Mexico as both a lovely place to live (Albeit with its own host of problems), and as a long term goal. By earning residency now, in four years time I will have permanent residency which makes buying a home there a lot easier. It's a medium term goal.

My lil' pupper is a bit sick, while her brother keeps running along. Holmes turns 14 this year, and although he has lost most of his hearing, and has a heart murmur, he rarely if ever got sick. His sister though...nonstop stomach issues. I have to force feed her water, and just gave her anti-nausea meds. She is compliant though, so hopefully she knows it's me helping her. That is the problem with dog kids...they can't tell you what is wrong. I know her well enough to know her stomach is upset...once again.

My brother and his family came over last night for burrito bowls. He is still a stressed out person constantly, BUT he seems to be a bit happier. I am not sure if he ever got counseling or what, but he seems to hopefully be leaving a bit of his trauma behind he carried with our mom's death. He has been angry for years, and it often directed towards me. I am sure he felt justified, and I have to somewhat tip-toe around him to make sure he doesn't get set off, but it's nice to have him around and being somewhat pleasant.

I sheet mulched with bike boxes (cardboard, THICK), and large wood chips in about a 1/3 of my backyard. I will do another side also as I have a huge pile of wood shavings to spread. I hate lawns, and plan on cutting holes in the cardboard and placing plants. I like low water lawns (xeriscaping.) It's a work smarter, not harder thing.

I'm watching "severance" which is a total mind-fuck. I have SO MANY QUESTIONS, but I am refusing to look them up online for the most part. I also have plans on watching "Flow" which looks really unique and cool. I was told I'd cry. I'll probably cry. I've been watching a lot of nature documentaries lately. Spent last night marveling (once again) over how freaking cool whales are. I am pondering getting a sperm whale tattoo. I have such an affinity for them. Apparently they represent adventure (due to their massive range they cover), and peace. I like that.

The Redhead has perfect breasts. I don't talk about them much, but she went for a mammogram, and later received a letter in the mail that said she needed to get them checked again by ultrasound. She had "dense tissue" they needed to examine. I went with her as it was actually at my hospital. I am glad I did as they reviewed it immediately, and let her know it was just a fluid filled cyst. Had it been a tumor, they would have told her immediately also, and she likely would have been a bit emotional and unable to drive. I remember getting that "you have cancer" call. It's not a fun thing to go through alone. No cancer, and her boobs are still perfect.

I have a lot of fears for the economy, geopolitics, and the U.S as we are apparently heading down into the shitter. I am trying not to dwell too deeply on things, but I also hold a bit of fear. I am focusing on what I can do within my control, and staying lightly to medium levels of informed about the rest. I live in a liberal state, with good laws on the books to protect its people, but the overall state of the U.S is not heading in a good direction. I am lucky to be a white/male/employed in a very stable job/homeowner/educated/veteran, but I know many are not at my level. We do better when we are all doing better.

The Redhead flew to the mainland today to do a walk through on the house we just bought and meet the inspector. Sale should close around July 20th? I don't see us moving to the mainland prior to November at the earliest. I wanted to get more experience where I am at, and get my TCRN (trauma certified RN) certificate.
I feel mixed. The house has a lot of good things for it. It's bikeable to the Redhead's office IF she wanted to go in (and they have kombucha on tap in her office!), it has three bedrooms and two bathrooms, a garage, a storage shed, raised beds with drip irrigation, central a/c, hardwood floors throughout, and lots of storage for a minimalist couple. It's in a quiet place near a bike trail along the river. One hour from the ocean and one hour from the mountains.
I think, for me, I was looking for more growth and exploration. The thing is, my life here is very, very, very good. I make plenty money, and live cheaply. Everyday is good. The weather is good. The waves are good. The people are beautiful. But, everyday is the same. I've been here forever and yet it feels like a short period.
Having access to more places, easier travel, opens up new opportunities for me. I can work in California and Oregon. Hopefully work in a critical access hospital finally and get that experience (want to fix people with duct tape, plastic straws for drains, and tap water?) Can go hiking and do long distance hikes. See the Redhead's parents easier (both in early 70s in SoCal), and be around more Spanish speakers.
I feel "cool" when I say I live in Hawaii, that I went to school here. Saying I live in Oregon doesn't feel as "cool." California feels "cool", "Seattle" feels cool. Oregon feels like...eh? You like trees? You like neonazis (I legit took care of neonazis when I was in Oregon last year), and homeless? Lots of breweries and pizza places? Cold water? Hot springs? Oregon...it'll be a launching base to many adventures hopefully.
If you're not growing, you're stagnant, and stagnant is a good reason to explore ya?

I made a new friend recently who lives in Brazil. She is married, and wanted to learn English and is pretty friendly. She confided to me through whatsapp that she wanted another partner (basically cheating on her husband) because he wasn't fulfilling her expectations. She told me of her adventures searching for someone else who was discrete, and understood her intentions.
Guess she kissed another guy last night, and the first non-husband kiss she had had in seven years. Ok, no judgement on my part. You gotta do you, ya? Anyways, got me thinking about kissing.
Kissing is like a conversation. I've kissed a lot of people in my life (luckily!) and have some opinions on it. Kissing is a give and take thing. You have to be aligned. I've kissed some people and knew IMMEDIATELY it wasn't something I wanted more of. I've kissed others and instantly sank into a sea of comfort and familiarity. Those are the kind of kisses you want to have forever.
You bite and nibble and push and pull, hints of tongue, smiles, eye contact, closed eyes again, circular breathing where you become one together. Basically a sloppy pile of lips intertwined with arms around one another. I love kissing. But only when we match style wise.

"Loss is inevitable, it always has been. The only thing we can control is when we say "yes.""

I have the Kindle App on my Iphone, but I just learned I can use the app to listen to ebooks. So, with the inspiration of Alefy, I downloaded a book to listen to. I have downloaded a lot of Spanish only books I read on my phone, but never listened to it. I have a half hour walk each way to school (2.2kms), so gonna try it out tomorrow.

Hope I don't get ran over by a bus!

“ Guns overtook car crashes to become the leading cause of death for US children and teenagers in 2020, according to data released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) last month.”

The U.S is a shit hole. Every time I mention going to Mexico I get asked “is it safe there?” Mass shootings in schools don’t happen there. Mass shootints in supermarkets don’t happen there.

I am honestly looking into possibly moving to Mexico. It has its own problems for sure (cartels and political corruption), but damn…our teachers became front line soldiers against assholes with small dicks who have too many guns.

I think I am in a part of my life where I am only remembering the good things, more or less, of my mom. The sacrifices she made, and how she tried her hardest to provide good experiences for us.

Today I am thinking of her winter coats, and how when I’d use them when feeding the horses I’d find wadded you paper towels she used to blow her nose and cigarette packs that were mostly empty.

Textures and smells.

today I literally did nothing. I ate, I had a Spanish lesson for an hour. I talked to therapist about conflict, and feelings around conflict. I took a nap. I walked a sum total of .3m today.

I did nothing.

Kind of a first world problem, but was realizing that if I died, and the Redhead died I listed my brother as second in line to receive my goods/accounts/etc. If he and I are to remain estranged, I'm going to have to figure out a person to list as a receiver of my accounts.

Possibly my niece?

Maybe I just donate everything to Planned Parenthood and a Chihuahua rescue organization? I don't know. Gotta figure this out.

So...the vision thing is weird. Went for a hike at sunset-ish, and hiked up mountain into oak habitat. The eyes are seeing very, very clearly, and I can see leaves budding on tops of trees, and everything is sharp.

There this sorta "dreamy halo" effect going on though that looks like cell phones and screens are in a dream. It makes things look pretty. I don't mind it really.

My pupils see halos on car lights though, so that is a bit annoying. I read that night vision takes awhile to come back and be normal.

So far, I don't regret it at all. It's really fucking weird to get ready at night and NOT have to take out my contacts. I am going to donate my unused contacts (two boxes worth) and glasses to a charity that forwards them onto people who can't afford them.

Sidenote: Health Insurance should cover vision and mental health. It's unacceptable that a lot of plans don't. The United States of Garbage, we are.